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<title>"But why do you need time?" by Yourchocolybar</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26932753">"But why do you need time?"</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yourchocolybar/pseuds/Yourchocolybar'>Yourchocolybar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bjyx, Chinese Actor RPF, bjyxszd - Fandom, bxg - Fandom, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, BJYX | Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean is Real, Love, M/M, WangXian Week 2020, bjyxszd, doubts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:27:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>911</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26932753</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yourchocolybar/pseuds/Yourchocolybar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Xiao Zhan isn't skeptical, he is just madly in love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wang Yi Bo/ Xiao Zhan, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean/Xiao Zhan | Sean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>"But why do you need time?"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a work of fiction. I am not associated to any character mentioned here. I love Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan, maybe a little too much.<br/>please comment down your new one shot ff fantasies and suggestions and maybe I can choose one from those.<br/>Thank you<br/>BO JUN YI XIAO SHI ZHEN DE....</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"</em>
  <strong>But why?, why do you need time?"</strong>
  <em> you asked me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I couldn't reply.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I still cannot.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I was never into men. And that I can say with utmost sureity. I have worked with numerous men, having the most beguiling bodies but i never gravitated to them like i have to him. Maybe it was slow but i can assure that it was steady and has been continuing till now. I've dated women in the past and i fell in love with a girl once. We made promises to marry and never leave one another. She was a scam and i was a fool. From then, from when she left, i resoluted never to fall for someone so deep again. I would have casual hookups yes, but they were shallow and lacked mutual affection. When my co-actors offered a date , i simply rejected them. It was easy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was easy until i met him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He wasn't special initially. Just another colleague I thought, just another kid, just another didi. But how wrong was I. People just don't call him stubborn for nothing. If he wants something, he will get it and I did not know I was the good being shipped to him. But he says otherwise. He says we were meant to be. He says , that we are twinflames.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I doubt that. I doubt fate.</em>
  <em> I remember his anxiety poorly hidden behind casual flirts, i remeber his efforts to stay with me primarily on the set, i remember his tightness when i would stare into him , the pleas he secretly made to his manager to book a room beside mine and all the reselience with which he contined to handle me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I doubt it was faith. He says it was love at first sight for him but for me, it is love growing gradually. And I think, my love for him is uncontainable ,unlike his for me. Since its growing, its like the digits of pi, the stars of the milky way, the stupidity of mankind; infinite. And since it is infinite, iam scared. I dread the day when he will fall out of love for me and leave me hanging like a fool again. I will not be able to rise from that collapse of heart ,my love. Iam afraid that as i get older, i get uninteresting. Iam so contrary to the people he idiolizes. I cannot make revolutionary laps on the the red bull ring like Rossi, I cannot freestyle and sway my body like Bouboo,I cannot rap catchy lines like A$AP ROCKY, nor can do cool ollies like Nyjah. I did'nt even like Nike to be honest,. I still am a sucker for Balenciagas but for you my didi, i want to be like you , cool not outdated ,so that there's no force that can part us.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> When you dance , i feel enthralled. I cannot match you. You are perfect and I have shortcomings.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I'm like the sunflower , attracted to you, my sun , my energy. I crave you , follow you but we're poles apart. You soar high above, and I am rooted to the ground. When you said you loved me during my trials I felt like I needed nothing else , but when you said i was foolish to let them break down my walls , i felt contradicted. Because you have never faced this my boy, you have never been hated by millions of people for something you haven't done. You haven't felt the agony dear. You haven't felt the horrow of imagining the person whom you love so much leaving you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You love what you love and take care of it with utmost obsession. But, I've also witnessed you get fed up of that possession didi. When you threw away the mercedes Lego set last time, or when you carelessly lost your primitive skateboard that you once loved more than anything else, i couldn't help but feel the same. You love me the most didi, i know that and i dont doubt it but, im not sure if this love has an expiration date like every other fling of yours. I don't want to be toyed but i feel so when you get in touch with one of those exes of yours or when you ignore me for a whole week. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I cannot imagine not being with you forever but I also cannot imagine that you'd give up on everything to be with me so i put something in between us, distance and time. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I won't say no to you, I cant , but I can take some time to think it out right?? when you asked me, why do I need time, these were the reasons all in all. These were the reasons why I needed to contemplate. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>These were the thoughts hovering on my mind and keeping me from accepting that Cartier ring that would bind our marriage . </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you and i will not say no. I am not the one needing the time but its you, im buying you some time to check if you will really stay with me till death or if you will eventually fall out of love with me, if you will still look at me with those heart eyes or if those sparks of adoration will fade away some time later. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I love you but the question is, will you love me with the same intensity forever?. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My subconciousness doubts that. Please prove me wrong Bo-di.</em>
</p>
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